STL All Sports

The big hitter on a certain playground team was suddenly injured and the only one who could be found to take his place in the game was the village idiot. The dimwit came to bat in the last of the ninth, the score tied, bases full, and the home club needing four runs to win. As the pitch came up to the plate, the dope struck out his bat blindly, connected, and drove the ball far over the distant fence. Instead of lighting out for first, he stood stockstill at the plate, a look of consternation and confusion on his homely face.

"Run, you dummy!" screamed the captain of the team. "Run!"

The dummy pulled himself together stoutly. "I will not," he said calmly. "What for? I'll just buy you fellows another ball."