STL All Sports

One sunny afternoon, Germany Schaefer tried to steal home. Like a runaway engine, he came puffing into home plate as the rival pitcher started his wind-up. He arrived in a great cloud of dust-but too late! The umpire jerked his thumb at the sky and yelled: "Yer-out!"

Germany, half-buried in dirt, merely raised his head and looked at the umpire. Then he bellowed:

"Didn't I knock the ball out of his hands?" "No!" barked his nibs.

"Didn't I get here before the pitch?" asked Schaefer. "No!" snapped the umpire.

"Mebbe the catcher missed the tag?" bellowed Schaefer. "No!" again snapped the umpire.

Slowly, Germany Schaefer climbed to his feet, dusted himself off, turned to the stands, and doffing his cap shouted: "Ladies and gentlemen! I've run plumb out of excuses."