STL All Sports

A little Italian priest was very fond of the races and attended all the meetings he could. He never made a bet, of course, and did what he could to dissuade others from doing so.

"It's the height of folly," the priest would say to the horse players who listened to him. "Just look at me. I know every owner, every trainer, every jockey here at the track. Every time one of them has a horse he is sure will win, I get the tip. Even then, if the bookmaker thinks the horse will lose, he refuses to take the bet from me. On top of that, if the horse loses anyhow with my money on him, they refuse to accept my money.

"That's pretty cozy," said a listener. "I wish I could have breaks like that."

"Nonsense," said the priest. "So far this year, even I am five hundred dollars behind!"