The fastest most expensive hot dogs
When Charlie Moran was a famous umpire in the major leagues, he also was a well-known breeder of hunting dogs. One afternoon he was umpiring at home plate in a game between the Chicago Cubs and the Cincinnati Reds, when second baseman Hughie Critz, a notoriously weak hitter, came to bat for his first time. He promptly brought up the subject of hunting dogs.
"Got any good ones for sale?" he asked umpire Moran.
"Sure do! I've got a good one for one hundred and fifty dollars," replied the ump, as he called the first pitch a ball.
"That' s a lot of money," protested batter Critz.
"Not for the best hound dog you can buy," snapped umpire Moran as he called the second pitch a ball.
"That dog fast?" asked the batter.
"He'll run right past any rabbit," replied the ump, as he called the third pitch a ball. .
"Can he retrieve?" asked Hughie Critz.
"Through brimstone and high water," replied the ump.
"I'll buy him!" said the batter.
"Ball four!" snapped umpire Charlie Moran, waving Hughie Critz to first on a walk.
That was too much for the famous Gabby Hartnett, catching for the Cubs. He turned and roared angrily at the startled ump:
"Moran, this is neither the time nor place to peddle your lousy hound dogs! And next time, don't you sell any of your hound dogs to a lousy .200 hitter!"
