STL All Sports

A famous billiard champion got disturbed when his game began to fall off. He found that whenever he bent over the table to make a shot his ears started ringing and he eyes popped out of his head. On the advice of friends, he went to see a specialist.

"I don't give you a year to live," said the doctor gravely. "Make the best of it."

"That I will," murmured the cue wizard, and proceeded to suit the action to the word. He bought a fancy convertible, 24 suits, 15 pairs of shoes, and then checked over the rest of his wardrobe. "I think I'd better get some new shirts," he decided. "And nothing but the best."

He hopped into his new car and drove to the fanciest shirt shop in town. "I want two dozen made-to-order shirts," he demanded.

"They'll be quite expensive," said the haughty clerk.

"What's money to me?" mourned the billiard champ. "Fix me up."

"All right," said the clerk, "let's take your measurements. Sleeve, 35. Collar, 16-1/2 . . ."

"You mean 15-1/2," interposed the doomed man.

"I mean 16-1/2," insisted the clerk.

"Wait a minute!" interrupted the billiard champ angrily. "I always wear a 15-1/2 shirt." .

"Look, my good man," said the clerk loftily, "you can have your shirts made with a 15-1/2 collar, but 'if you do, you'll have a ringing in your ears and your eyes will pop out!"